Balance and Motherhood?
When I embarked on the development of ClearSpace Online a year ago, my husband and I were hoping to have another child at some point in the next couple of years. What I didn’t anticipate was that my pregnancy and birth would coincide with the development and launch of ClearSpace Online. Of course we were thrilled beyond belief to be pregnant, but I wasn’t sure how I would balance it all. Ironic, when the business I was building - ClearSpace Online - is all about balance. The site was supposed to launch before my little guy was born, but due to some unforeseen issues it was held off until he was two months old. In retrospect, I am thankful for the way it turned out because of all the times in my life when I needed to clear space for myself, it has been the last couple of months. With having a newborn at home, dealing with a toddler who has been sick for four weeks of the last eight, and undertaking the launch of a new arm of my business, clearing space for myself was vital. Every day at some point I gave myself 20 minutes. Often it was getting out for a walk and some fresh air, or lying on the floor engaging in some relaxation and breathing exercises. Sometimes it was enjoying the stillness and quiet of the city after my baby’s 3:00am feed. ClearSpacing has kept me sane, and has helped me embrace these big new changes in my life with a steady mind and more positive temperament. Being a mother can be chaotic at the best of times, and most people laugh at the idea of putting the words balance and motherhood in the same sentence. But although our notion of balance as a mum may be vastly different than what it might have been “pre-kids,” it’s not impossible to achieve. For some of us balance can be gleaned in those glorious moments after the kids are in bed by sitting in silence, savouring a glass of wine, or reading a book. And for others, balance means that we made it through the dinner hour without screaming at the kids or we had a 10-minute shower without sharing the bathroom with anyone else. Since balance is constantly shifting, as mothers we have to take our moments when we can. And celebrate them. With Mother’s Day a few days away, I encourage you to take a look at ways you can create balance in motherhood. You don’t have to be a mum to do so! You could be a daughter who takes her mum to the spa and encourages her to take time out for herself, or a friend who babysits for a mum so she can go to a yoga class or go out on a date with her husband, And if you’re a mum yourself, how can you find little ways to help yourself and your fellow mums create a little more balance? Let’s make sure that the words balance and motherhood aren’t mutually exclusive. Happy Mother’s Day! |
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Friday, 08 May 2009 16:40 |
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Balancing Self-Perceptions
Why is it easier to be critical of ourselves than it is to recognize what we love about ourselves? I used to teach drama to kids and teens, and one of my warm-up exercises was to go around the opening circle and ask each student to name something they liked about themselves. I was always amazed by how difficult it was for them. But when asked to name something they didn’t like, they had no problem at all. But are we really any different as adults? Yesterday I was at a meeting of my mothers’ network, which is definitely a great way to ClearSpace. It’s for stay-at-home or working moms and occurs weekly – there is childcare, you get a 45-minute workout, then an hour-long meeting that involves discussions on parenting, life as a mum, and various guest speakers. One of the things we were asked to do in our discussion was to finish the sentence “I’m a great mum because…” Everyone found it extremely difficult to finish this sentence. I was shocked. A few mums commented that they could find a litany of reasons why they’re not great mums. In my quest to become balanced, I’ve made an effort to acknowledge aspects or habits of my personality that I could improve in order to make me happier, but I have also been conscious of affirming the parts of me that I consider important strengths. But yesterday I realized that in the past few months - whether due to fatigue from having a new baby and an energetic toddler, or from forgetting to focus on the things I am doing (instead of all that I’m not getting done) - I have been particularly hard on myself. Over the next few days I’m going to use some ClearSpace time to reflect on what makes me a good mum. Appropriate, I guess, since Mother’s Day is around the corner. And whether you’re a mother or not, shouldn’t we all clear some space to remember what makes us unique and special? |
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Thursday, 07 May 2009 00:00 |
A Week of Balance
The motto of ClearSpace is “live your balance”. Through working with thousands of clients over the years – whether it be teaching yoga, coaching someone to run a marathon, designing a Pilates program, or running a workshop on health and wellness – I’ve really learned that the meaning of balance is unique to each individual. |
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Monday, 04 May 2009 15:32 |
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